Below is a summary of “The Anatomy of Adultery” from A Man and His Marriage material:
- Unintentional neglect of each other in your marriage. Both the friendship and the physical intimacy begin to wane.
- Someone of the opposite sex is really kind to you. She notices you, compliments you, affirms you and you feel respected.
- The compliment turns into a conversation. Maybe a lunch together. Your time feels good and is meeting a need.
- Emotional Investment. You find yourself attracted and begin sharing your heart with her. You start laughing and sharing secrets together. You begin justifying the relationship to yourself.
- Ongoing Contact. You exchange contact information and begin staying connected, calling, texting, or messaging each other. You begin convincing yourself that things would be better with her than your wife.
- False Reality. Seeing her only when she’s at her best, you fail to realize your view of her is skewed. Because you’re acting alone, you don’t have any trusted friends who can help bring you back to reality. Affairs are void of responsibilities; they are Satan’s deception to destroy the first institution that God created … the family.
- Physical Intimacy. The emotional connection becomes physical intimacy. It starts with a hug, or kiss, and quickly escalates to destructive behavior.
Some of you are at step #3 and feel a little guilty but you’ve convinced yourself everything is ok. Some of you are at step #5 and know that its only a matter of weeks or even days before you’re full-steam ahead with an adulterous relationship. Wherever you are on that list do the following (by God’s grace):
- RUN! … simply put: run from immorality as it wants to destroy every facet of who you are.
- Go find a more spiritually mature person (man to man, woman to woman) and share what’s going on and ask for time to regularly meet to walk through the “why” and “how” you came to be where you are.
- Cling to the forgiveness that is found in Jesus and walk in the power of the gospel that enables you through the work/person of King Jesus to actually fulfill what He asks of us in the word.
There’s much more you can be doing but these should be your first initial steps.